at a hella cool castle
the groom channeled Thranduil and the Baratheons
the bridesmaids were elf maidens
the court jester and town crier were there
the cakes were gorgeous
luckily a friar was passing through town who was able to officiate (“mawwaige,” he said, “is what bwings us togevver today”)
the bride’s chariot was pulled by the most beautiful creature
unfortunately, as with all medieval weddings, there is the dragon problem
DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
Pictured are the legs of tattoo artist “Cindy Ray” aka Bev Robinson c. 1960s.